Is it when somebody is there for you or if they can sit and help or just listen to what's going on in your life? Or just somebody you can have fun with?
I'm not exactly sure how to define the word friend. Yet, Dictionary.com describes it as the following:
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection orpersonal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends ofthe Boston Symphony.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person whois not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?
4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.
5. ( initial capital letter ) a member of the Religious Society ofFriends; a Quaker.
Even though all of these things help to describe a friend, I don't exactly think that these definitions describe what an actual friend is... A friend is somebody you can speak to about anything, who you can be your absolute self with and who will understand what you're saying even when you can't put it into words. But it is also so much more than that. A friend is somebody who you can sit and do nothing with yet have an amazing time with, laugh at anything and even make you feel like the most important person in the world.
Why then is it so difficult to find somebody who is wiling to be my friend when I am willing to be anybody and everybody's friend?.. I do have many friends, yet when I am going through something, I don't feel like I can call anybody and speak to them about it. I feel as if I'm being weak or that I don't feel like I can show them my true feelings about what's actually going on in my life, head and heart.
Having a lot of friends is so great because you can always have something to do. but lately, all my friends (and guys that I've liked) have began ignoring me... not that I shouldn't expect this, because it always seems to happen, but it's always difficult. I always seem to think that this time will be different. This person is different. Yet, every time, without fail, I am once again disappointed by the fact that somebody took advantage of my friendship and then left me on the curb.
Don't get me wrong, my sister is my best friend, but when she's gone, I can have my own friends. They aren't OUR friends. They're MY friends. Yet, I also like to keep in contact, and do keep in contact with OUR friends even though she is gone... These are the people that don't care about me or what's happening with me in my life. When she was gone this semester, a lot of drama happened and a lot of OUR friends really just stopped talking to me. This week, my sister came and visited me and within two days, almost all of OUR friends stopped by to see her... It hurts knowing that they don't care about me, and are here only for her...
Not sure what to do about it... maybe cry myself a river.
