Satellite Heart

I'm a satellite heart lost in the dark..

I don't get why something always happens that seems to either ruin my day or make me feel absolutely crappy about something.. My plan today was to work out, shower, get ready, go to a hs football homecoming, then go to an awesome dance party. Ends up, Josh calls me after getting off work early. Which is awesome!! So he came up to visit and we went out to get taco bell and then we decided to go riding on a dirt bike that he had in his truck. We go to fill up but then all of a sudden it's time to head to the game. He gets aggravated cause there's not enough time to ride and in return, I feel horrible for not saying anything sooner and ruining his plans. When I start heading to the game with my roommate (Ali) and her boyfriends family, I start feeling absolutely horrible and am definitely not in the mood to go. Obviously I would feel bad going and ruining everybody else's fun time to I decided to skip out on the game. While standing by myself in the Little Caesars parking lot, I realized that I always seem to aggravate, disappoint or irritate almost everybody that I try to be friends with... 

Several of my roommates still act awkward around me, none of my so-called-friends from past semesters want to hang out and the one guy that I kinda like is not even talking to me anymore. 

I feel like I'm playing a game of hide n seek where I'm the only one hiding yet everybody bails and there's nobody looking for me. Nobody cares if I'm found or if I just sit there for the rest of the day... What's sad is that's actually happened to me before when I was younger. 

I don't know how to stay strong anymore..
I don't know who I can call when I'm having a hard time..
I don't know what I'm doing with my life..

Why am I not important?